Check out your Conflict Handling Preference.

This week I’m going to try a little experiment. I have a theory that this exercise might give you an insight into your preferred way of dealing with Conflict.  For it to work it will require you to approach the exercise with your brain as far as possible in neutral, preferably not in work mode, and you need to be as honest as you can with yourself.

There is one little string attached:  I have written this exercise into a book I’m writing, so this is in a way a pilot for it:  when we analyse how you respond to the exercise, I would ask you to let me know whether you think it works, and does give you a genuine insight into your conflict handling default response.  So, to build on a previous Blog I wrote, IF you undertake this exercise, you are willing to let me know whether it worked or not?  Perfect.

If only these were available on the NHS



Please take a Metaphorical Honesty Tablet now, so that whatever you do next is a genuine response to the exercise.  The only person who will know what you do next is you.


If you’re feeling a little stressed, listen to this wonderful piece of music for a few moments to help you to calm down.



Right, are you all set?  Here goes.  Please find a piece of paper and something to write with, and then carry out the next instruction below this picture.





(Parking tickets and speeding fines do not count.)

Thank you.  I hope that wasn’t too painful.

We’re done for now.  In my next post we will analyse how you responded just now, and link it to the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument.  It may be that it highlights your conflict handling preference,  and this may give you a useful insight into why you get the results from Conflict that you do, and some thoughts on how to adapt your response when necessary.

If you don’t want to have to keep checking in here to see if I have written the follow up Blog, why not Subscribe via email so you’ll know automatically when I’ve written it?

See you soon, and be careful where you leave that piece of paper!

About Michael Brown Training

I'm a business skills trainer, facilitator and coach. I've been helping people to learn for 16 years, working all around the world on topics such as Negotiation, Conflict Handling, Sales, Leadership, Consulting and Personal Effectiveness. I'm an ENFP, constantly looking for new and inspiring things to do. I love my job for its variety and the stimulation I get from it, and spend most of my time seeing how far we can go with the subjects we work on in the training room. I've recently started a new venture in making video on how NOT to do things, which you can find at
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6 Responses to Check out your Conflict Handling Preference.

  1. Dave Sharpe says:

    Ok I’ve got one…. provided I dont have to share it


  2. Paul Wehren says:

    Hi Mike, well I was feeling pretty relaxed when I read you blog but thought I would listen to the music anyway before trying your exercise. However, for some reason the music would not play! The reason I didn’t know why was because the Internet Explorer window I was using cut-off the error message. So I opened another browser (Chrome) and tried again, this time I found out from the error message (now readable) that it was because I was running from a VPN cluster in Amsterdam. So I disconnected from VPN, reconnected through normal internet access only to find out the music still would not play unless I selected that I had a Spotify! Grr….! Having a Spotify account I selected this option only to discover it still would not run because I had just got a new PC and had not installed Spotify!!!!. If I wanted to continue I would have to re-download it. So at this point feeling 10 times more stressed than when I started – I gave up 🙂 !!


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