“That didn’t take you long,” said someone to my wife when she told them we have just become parents again. She’s right: two months ago we lost our beloved Rufus to anaemia, and it knocked both Charlotte and I sideways. The hole that opened up in our lives was more like a chasm, and we had to do something about it. I kept coming back to something Anneli wrote on my Blog about losing Rufus: she wrote something I’ll never forget:
“…I find I love her just as much, and I don’t love Lily any less.”
Something told us that Rufus would not want us to pine, and to carry on living life. And so we find ourselves with a new family member, a 3 month old Golden Cocker Spaniel, who so far has no name. He is a bundle of energy, mad as a hatter, quick as anything to learn, and generous to a point with his love. He brings tears of joy to our eyes, and reminds us so much of Rufus whilst at the same time being completely different.
I’m wondering whether he is part of coming to terms with Rufus’ loss. I think we are on the Acceptance phase of the Change Curve as far as he is concerned, whilst of course the puppy’s arrival has set us out on another Curve of its own, in which we are doing a lot of Testing (how long can we leave him without him ripping the house apart etc.?)
Interesting to think that you can be on several Change Curves at the same time, some big, some small. Progress can be fragile, and sometimes you can slip back down the curve in a response to a trigger of some sort.
So, something resembling Life Before We Lost Him is returning. It’s very full on, but worth every minute of disruption to have such a little ray of sunshine around the place. Just as it appears that Spring has finally arrived in the UK, we can feel ourselves opening up again and getting ready for (we can but hope) a heady summer. Maybe we’ll even get to swim in the sea again, you never know.
Suggestions for a name on a postcard, please. Take a look at him in action and see what inspires you.